This article by Daisy Medici, managing director of governance and education at GenSpring Family Offices, offers wealth managers strategies for helping families boost the quality and effectiveness of their communications across generations.

Family offices and wealth advisors agree that communication is critical to sustaining wealth across generations. But when families are comprised of adults from four completely different societal eras, matters can get complicated. To help families overcome these cross-generational communication challenges, we went straight to the source.

GenSpring Family Offices recently hosted a women’s retreat for clients ranging in age from 21 to 91. In one of the general sessions, attendees split into groups according to their generation (traditionalists, Baby Boomers, gen Xers and Millennials). The conversations from these breakout sessions identified numerous cross-generational communication challenges which included:

• A lack of understanding or respect for different world views;
• The role of technology;
• Physical barriers to communication such as geographic dispersion and busy schedules;
• Family issues such as judgmental attitudes, gossip and hurt feelings; and
• A general lack of transparency with regard to family wealth.

After identifying these challenges, the participants came together in cross-generational groups to discuss ways to overcome them. Following is a list of helpful suggestions that resulted from the session, for families facing similar struggles:

1. Accept that, over the years, generational gaps have been created, which require time and energy to bridge. Tackling communication challenges doesn’t happen overnight. One of the easy first steps toward bridging generational gaps is to avoid broad generalizations. Family members of all ages find comments like, “you all do this,” or “people your age don’t understand,” offensive.

2. Be open to change, but recognize that change can be difficult. It is often said that “change” is the only constant. Trading old ways for new requires a great deal of understanding and flexibility on all sides. Listening and respecting each generation’s unique perspectives and needs goes a long way. In this context, change is a two-way street.

3. Offer advice in helpful ways versus passing judgment. When older generations demonstrate genuine interest in the lives of millennial family members, it may seem less obtrusive or judgmental when they assert themselves on critical matters. Sharing personal stories and mistakes made along the way is a positive way for older generation family members to connect with younger generation members.

4. Learn from each other. A lot of families are struggling with issues related to technology and social media. One suggestion is for younger generations to mentor older generations on using and understanding new technologies. Likewise, the older generations can mentor younger generations in face-to-face interaction and interpersonal skills critical to success. Additionally, if older individuals accept the benefits of social media, they will have more credibility when working to help the next generation understand the risks associated with these platforms.

5. Use technology as a tool to improve communication. While technology poses a challenge for many multi-generational families, if leveraged correctly, it can be a tool to improve communication. We recommend using email to broadly communicate information across the family to ensure the same message is being shared with everyone, and can be easily retrieved. Additionally, using a shared calendar system such as a Google calendar can ease scheduling challenges.

6. Hold regular family meetings. In today’s busy, fast-passed world, all families can benefit from regular, in-person family meetings. All generations should be included in the travel plans and agendas should include time for shared values activities such as storytelling, sharing family photos and/or documenting traditions. Families, whose family businesses require very structured board meetings, might consider scheduling separate get-togethers that are purely social.

7. Tackle the difficult conversations. While it may seem easier to avoid the “elephant in the room” or topics considered taboo, these are important issues to address in order to improve communication and transparency. To boost the likelihood that these conversations are productive, we recommend creating a safe forum and including a professional facilitator to help navigate any difficult conversations. Family leaders should encourage family members to challenge and question during these discussions. Use open-ended questions to allow for more information and healthier conversations.

While the challenge of communicating across generations is certainly not a new issue for families, it’s an even greater struggle in today’s society. By taking the time to acknowledge differences and taking action to address these challenges, families will not only go a long way toward improving communication, but also toward sustaining their wealth for generations to come.